"How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you" - the Oatmeal

Published in 2012 by Matthew Inman

I'm counting this as a book even though it was cartoons. Funny pictures of kittens and silly comics, count me in.

The oatmeal is an online cartoon that looks at a wide variety of topics including adorable kittens.

Read this book. It's amazeballs.

Rating: *****

Quotes: every page

"In One Person" - John Irving

Published in 2012 by Garp Enterprises, Inc.

I really like John Irving, I like his repetitive themes about abortion, bears, and dysfunctional sexual relationships.  I like his stories about how families form and interact.  I even love his strange obsession with wrestling. But this was not his best.

The World According to Garp introduced me to his style of writing and I loved it.  The Cider House Rules introduced me to some of the most lovable hated characters I have read and was a beautiful story.  But this? This wandered, weaved, ducked, bobbed and nosedived into the floor.

I read this with no pretense, I received it without a book-jacket and started on page one without looking into it at all.  The writing style wasn't quite there and the way the narration looped around itself was distracting at best and confusing at worst.  While we follow the tale of a young man who is bisexual, his attraction to manly women, women with small breasts, men of all ages, and his best friend, it's easy to get confused as to which part of his life Irving is writing about.  The mother is a strange character who is confusing and never has her problem resolved in the story. The inevitable introduction of AIDS and the 100 pages that follow where every person we have been introduced to dies, is not a pleasant read and (Spoiler) when he finally meets his dad it feels thrown in like the publishers wanted some closure.

Overall, I wanted more, I wanted Irving.  But I did love that the Bears in this novel were far different than in any other.

Rating: **

Quotes:
"Like my grandmother, Aunt Muriel managed to be both arrogant and judemental without saying anything that was either verifiable or interesting: in this respect  both my grandmother and my aunt struck me as superior-sounding bores."

"Yet me infatuation with Miss Frost had certainly shown me that my penis had ideas that seemed entirely separate from my own thoughts. And if penises could have ideas, it was not such a stretch to imagine that breasts could also think for themselves."

"Isn't it perfectly possible that Nils and his wife are too depressed to have kids? The prospect of having kids depressed the shit out of me and I;m neither suicidal nor Norwegian"

"When the Killing's Done" - T.C. Boyle

Published in 2011 by Penguin Books

You know what I have always wondered? What does the C stand for.  Not the T, I assume Tom, Timothy, Toreador, who cares. But the C, oh the C.  And now I know.

T. Coraghessan Boyle

wowsers, that's a name.

I shall name my first born son Coraghessan, and he shall stand up to the ridiculously named youth of his generation (Rykers, things with "X" in them, etc)

Moving on.  I am not usually a fan of Mr. Boyle's work.  I couldn't get through 40 pages of Tortilla Curtain, and The Women was taxing at the best of times.  But this was surprisingly innovative and delightful.  While I wouldn't say that it lived up to the hype that the review on the back cover gave it, it also never dragged or dimmed.

The story is about Santa Barbara and the Channel Islands off the coast, it tells of shipwrecks, endangered species, and non-native animals who threaten the balance of life on the island.  The war waging between two environmental groups (one pro-killing of animals not native to the islands, one a douchey guy who Boyle makes sure you know you should hate) and their increasingly dangerous interactions.

Overall, I was a fan.  Hooray Mr. Boyle!

Rating: ***

Quotes:
nothing particularly memorable. meh!

In Between Books

Room was harsh.  It was really really good, but it has left me in this state where I don't want to read another book yet.  This describes it pretty perfectly.

"Room" - Emma Donoghue

Published in 2010 by Little Brown Books

It's Jack's 5th birthday and this year Ma has given him a drawing of himself, Old Nick comes in the night and leaves a gift for JAck too, but Ma doesn't want him to have it.  Jack and Ma live in room with all of their friends: wardrobe, bed, stove, bath, and plant.  Because Jack is a big boy now his other birthday gift is learning about "Outside," a place they haven't ever been but Ma would like to see again.

This leads to a daring escape and the emotional troubles of being freed from captivity.  Told by Jack, the first 1/3 of the story drudges on a bit (yes, I get it, you are in a room) but boy oh boy does it pick up after that.

Not many books really get at my insides but this one made me tear up and have strange dreams of captivity.  It was fantastic how Donoghue was able to convey a ton of information through the mind of a 5 year old.

Rating: ****

Quotes:
"Scared is what you're feeling.  Brave is what you're doing"

"The Solitude of Prime Numbers" - Paolo Giordano

BOOK 40!!!!

Published in 2008, originally in Italian

The stories of Alice and Mattia intertwine in this novel, beginning as children when they both endure traumatic accidents and they learn to live with the scars they have from them.  Alice uses anorexia, while Mattia cuts himself, the two are always alone but they are alone together.  Much like twin primes, separated by just one other number.

While they occasionally try to have romances, they generally fail and both revert to their solitary state.

I started this at 10pm and read it straight through.  Very engrossing.

Rating: ***

Quotes:
"choices are made in brief seconds and paid for in the time that remains"

"Sweet Tooth" - Ian McEwan

Published in 2012 by Jonathan Cape

King of the Twist! That is my new nickname for Ian McEwan.  If you have read (or seen) Atonement you already know that this guys got endings in the bag.  I was truly surprised when this novel flipped from slightly boring romantic intrigue based in the 1970s, and made me go back a page to catch the twist again.

This is the story of Serena Frome (rhymes with Plume) and her induction and service with MI5.  It is the 1970's in Britain and there is considerable turmoil over communism and how to sneakily keep the citizens from seeing it as a good idea.  McEwan explores the relationship between government and literature, and throws in a healthy dose of girlish anxiety.

It wasn't my favorite novel, a little bland but well written and then end was worth the few days it took.  Unlike atonement, the characters weren't quite as well formed and I personally didn't feel any real emotional bond to them.

Rating: ***

Quotes:
"I didn't use, and hadn't even heard, the word "totalitarianism." I probably would have through it had something to do with refusing a drink.

"I was the bases of readers.  All I wanted was my own world, and myself in it, given back to me in artful shapes and accessible form"

"It was vulgar to want it, but I liked someone to say "Marry me" by the end.

"There was, in me view, an unwritten contract with the reader that the writer must honor.  No single element of an imagined world or any of its characters should be allowed to dissolve on authorial whim. The invented had to be as solid and as self-consistent as the actual.  This was a contract founded on mutual trust."

Sookie Stackhouse Novels by Charlaine Harris

Telepathic barmaid Sookie Stackhouse has her share of problems  from her sweet but mildly idiotic brother to the vampires that have started residing in her town.  While most of the residents of Bon Temps, Louisiana just think her a little strange she spends her days reading the thoughts of others and trying not to be killed.

Harris mixes mystery, romance, science fiction and just a dash of gore into a simply mind-numbing read.  Sometimes her writing can be a little flat but overall it hits just the right chord of guilty pleasure and day time tele-drama.  This explains why the HBO series TrueBlood (based on the novels) has been so wildly popular.

Personally, I was glad it didn't veer to much into romance novel territory.  Call it my prudish Amish upbringing or something like that, but I just don't care for sex books.  This year for my bday, Chelsea sent me the box set of these books and I am just now getting around to them.

Book One: "Dead Until Dark"
published in 2001 by Ace Books

Sookie is introduced to the new resident vampire Bill and as she falls in love with him she must protect her friends and family from a killer on the loose in their town.  If you have ever watched the HBO Series, this is almost identical to the pilot episode, which is pretty cool.


Book Two: "Living Dead in Dallas"
published in 2002 by Ace Books

Sookie and Bill are required to help the Dallas area vampires find a missing Vampire, Sookie's friend gets killed, there's a cult, there's a maenad, there's an orgy.  Book two was kind of all over the place and hectic.  It could have been three books.  Not as good as the first.  Also, rereading sentences like "I may be pretty but I'm also smart. . ." don't really give me a lot of faith in her smarts.  That's like saying "I'm really smart and everyone likes me a lot."  If you have to state it publicly, it's probably not true.

"The Unbearable Lightness of Being" - Milan Kundera

Published in 1984 by Harper & Row

Following the stories of two couples, intertwined by a 20 year dalliance.  We are introduced to a world where it is not weight but lightness that is the most difficult to bear.  Tomas is married to Tereza, she is young and helpless and every time he sleeps with a new woman it kills her inside.  His longtime lover Sabina is her opposite   Impulsive, carefree and open to everything with no guilt holding her back.  And last there is Franz, a teacher who meets and falls in love with Sabina, even when they are no longer together he still thinks of her and wishes she could be by his side.

There is a lot of war, sex, secret police, death, and talk of bowler hats as well.

Quotes:
"Vertigo is something other than the fear of falling.  It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified we defend ourselves."

"Culture is perishing in overproduction, in an avalanche of words, in the madness of quantity."

"Only the most naive of questions are truly serious.  They are the questions with no answers.  A question with no answer is a barrier that cannon be breached   In other words, it is questions with no answers that set the limits of human possibilities, describe the boundaries of human existence.

Rating: ***

"Howl's Moving Castle" - Diana Wynne Jones

Published in 1986 by Harper Collins

Sophie is the oldest of three daughters in a land where that is considered a terrible fate.  After her father (Mr. Hatter) dies, she gives in to her fate of running his hat shop while her two younger sisters go off to seek their fortunes.  But when an evil witch arrives in the hat shop and casts a spell on her, all bets are off as she begins an adventure to break the curse and see if the oldest of three can do something more with her life.

She walks into the hills where she finds Howl's Moving Castle.  Howl is a dark wizard known to eat the hearts of pretty young girls but Sophie figures that with the spell cast upon her she might get out alive.

I saw the movie version of this first and didn't even realize it was a book until reading through a list of 100 books you should read before you are 20 (fine, I am over 20, shush).  The movie has more magic and crazy caricatures but the book is a little more fun and the story has a few more crazy twists and turns.

Quotes:
“Go to bed, you fool," Calcifer said sleepily. "You're drunk."
"Who, me?" said Howl. "I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold sober." He got up and stalked upstairs, feeling for the wall as if he thought it might escape him unless he kept in touch with it. His bedroom door did escape him.” 

“I feel ill," [Howl] announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die.” 

Rating: ***

"The Island of the Day Before" - Umberto Eco

Published in 1995 by Harcourt Brace & Company

"Umberto Eco, why you so crazy?"

Boom, there's my review.

This is the story of Roberto, a young man who gets shipwrecked on a boat and can't swim to shore.  He finds rare animals, crazy companions (real and imagined), begins a novel, writes letters to his true love, and in the end goes just a little bit insane.

My favorite part is where he tries to be a stone.  Yes, you read that correctly, a stone.

While growing up in war-torn areas of Europe, Roberto accidentally angers Cardinal Richelieu and is forced on an expedition to learn how to tell what longitude one is at while sailing at sea.  His ship fails and to save his sanity he begins writing letters to his beloved Lilia.

Quotes:
"If there Roberto had sensed a world now without any center, made up only of perimeters, here he felt himself truly in the most extreme and most lost of peripheries; because , if there was a center it lay before him, and he was its immobile satellite."

". . . there are people who would never have fallen in love if they had not heard love talked about."

Rating: ***

"Ready Player One" - Ernest Cline

Published in 2011 by Dark All Day, Inc.

The year, 2044.  The world, going to hell in a handbasket.  The protagonist, Wade Watts aka Parzival.  In reality (a pretty awful place by this point) Wade lives with his Aunt in a stack of double wide trailers that threatens to fall over at any point, she hawks his technology and school gear to buy drugs and people don't usually live very long without a safe hiding spot.  In the OASIS though, a magical technological other world, he is Parzival, a slightly more muscular fellow with admittedly better skin and the potential for greatness.

James Halliday created the OASIS and introduced the world to a new better place that wasn't overrun by disease, pollution, and general effed-up-ness.  The OASIS is infinitely large and can be whatever the user wants it to be.  Kids attend school there, people meet and date, in fact they don't even need to be people.  Why not be a flying Ork with lighting bolt tattoos   The quest is to find James Halliday's egg.  Before he died, he programmed the world to have three hidden challenges that if completed would give the winner access to his vast personal fortune (in real life and in the OASIS.)  So what's a pudgy kid from the trailer parks supposed to do?  Obviously, battle evil forces and try to win while making some friends along the way.

Filled 100% with strange, funny, cheesy, stupid, wonderful 1980's references, this novel was a quick and delightful read.  It probably won't be winning the Man-Booker prize but after Schindler's List I needed a little pick-me-up.

Rating: ***

"Schindler's List" - Thomas Keneally

Published in 1982 by Hodder and Stoughton

written by an Australian novelist, this book tells the the story of a Nazi Party Member who saves the lives of thousands of Polish and Hungarian Jews during the Holocaust.  Through a chance encounter with Poldek Pfefferberg in Beverly Hills, Keneally decided to write this inspiring and somewhat crazy story of Oskar Schindler.

Schindler is portrayed not as a perfect man, but as a flawed human who never stops believing that he is doing what is right by saving the lives of others.  The occasional heart-wrenching scenes of Auschwitz and the other death-camps are few and far between when set against the rest of this story.  And the many encounters between Schindler and party officials bartering over crockery and booze add a laughably human aspect to a group of men that have become somewhat superhumanly evil in our collective world mind.

This was a very very very good book.  And now I want to watch the movie in the hopes that it is as good.

Quotes:

"Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire"

"The principle was, death should not be entered like some snug harbor.  It should be an unambiguous refusal to surrender."

"The list was life"

Rating: *****

"Jim the Boy" - Tony Early

Published in 2000 by Bay Back Books

I ran out of books and my mom left this at our apartment on her last visit. So I read it in a day, which was a good plan because it wasn't really entrancing enough to last longer than that.

The story of a little boy turning ten and learning some hard life lessons about friends, family, absence and regret.

Early writes about living in a small town and learning that the world is a big scary place.

Rating: **

"Granta 119: Britain"

Published in 2012 by Granta

Granta is a win-some-lose-some books by mail subscription. Four times a year I receive a compilation of Hirt stories that all focus in some way on a specific topic.

This quarters topic was Britain; the stories, poems, and photos ranged in style and composition but were all somehow clearly linked by the overarching theme.

This was a win-some.

Quotes:
"She paid twenty quid for a private dance with a girl named Clover, who had pigtails and purple nails and a tattoo of a unicorn just above her groin.
'Its my power animal,' she said.
'I'm pregnant,' said Katherine."

"Living in a racist society has a profound psychological impact. It produces in it's victims a sort of hyper-vigilance, as the individual attempts to read those around them and so anticipate the hostility that might assail them."

"Tishomingo Blues" - Elmore Leonard

Published in 2002

This book was not the best introduction to Leonard. Although he started the action early and kept It going through the story, the slow paced dialogue and doltish main characters failed to hold my interest.

Drugs, Murder, High Divers, Civil War battles: this novel seemed like a clear winner. But it just left me feeling like a re-enactor who had to die slowly without the perk of getting drunk in the sun.

Rating: **

"The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" - Haruki Murakami

Published in 1997 by Haruki Murakami, 1998 by First Vintage Int. Translation by Jay Rubin.

Murakami starts his novel with a pot of noodles, I was immediately hooked.  The pot boils, he receives a call from a woman who knows him but will not identify herself, he returns to his noodles (slightly overcooked) and he feels confused.

This novel is everything my brain connects with Japanese culture.  It is calm, it is creepily calm, even the fights are calm.  But you can't stop reading.  It centers on Toru Okada, a man who is unemployed and supported by his wife Kumiko who works in publishing.  We follow him as his cat goes missing, then his wife, he meets a psychic prostitute, gains a facial blemish, meets an old veteran who has seen awful things, takes a lot of naps and makes friends with a lot of women.

I am still a little dizzy from everything that happens and at times it gets a bit confusing.  But push on, because the last third is thrillingly well written, and mind-bendingly good.  I don't think I understand what happened yet, but it was big.  Big in a calm way, and that says something.

Quotes:
"Let's go to Crete together.  This is not the place for us anymore: not for you and not for me.  We have to go to Crete.  If you stay here, something bad is going to happen to you.  I know it.  I am sure of it."

"Money had no name, of course.  And if it did have a name, i would no longer be money.  What gave money its true meaning was its dark-night namelessness, its breathtaking interchangeability"

Rating: ****

"Slaughterhouse Five" - Kurt Vonnegut

Published in 1969 originally, 2009 by Dial Press


recognized as one of the most influential anti-war books of all time, Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse 5" is a trippy book.  It explores war, free will, fate, love, paranormal activity, and weaves in historical events the entire time.  Vonnegut tells the tale of Billy Pilgrim, a young man who doesn't particularly believe in war and continuously asks to be left behind to die.  He is able to become unstuck from time and can see different points of his life throughout the story.  We are lead through his time before the bombing of Dresden, his boring married life after the war, time spent on an extraterrestrial planet called Tralfamadore, his death, and some other events.


Personally, I enjoyed this book, not in the way people are supposed to appreciate and love classics.  I can't see this ever becoming my favorite book of all time, but I did really like the writing style the ideas were all solidly put together to create a nice mesh of historically accurate sci-fi.


Quotes:
""Would you talk about the war now, if I wanted you to?" said Valencia. In a tiny cavity in her great body she was assembling the materials for a Green Beret.
"It would sound like a dream," said Billy. "Other people's dreams aren't very interesting, usually." 


Rating: ****

"Sacre Bleu" - Christopher Moore

Published in 2012 by William Morrow

This book is the epitome of Christopher Moore.  As much as I always want to love his books, they tend to either be super awesome (A Dirty Job, Lamb, Fool) or be kind of bleh (Fluke, the one about vampires, something about a Sequined Nun Love.)  This was a little of both.  Parts were wry, compelling and laugh out loud funny.  Parts were dry, boring, and a little overwrought.

A very strange and entertaining idea though, Sacre Bleu is a story about famous artists compelled to paint by a mystical little man who creates a magical color of blue that allows for some crazy things to happen.  While it was not his best book it was a fun and interesting look at the lives of men we often forget. . . had lives!

It shows us that these men were contemporaries and friends, just men living in Paris and getting by with the world around them and what they were given in life.

Quotes:
"Now the ragpicker threw his head back and laughed in the way only a Frenchman with 7 teeth and a conscience soaked in wine can laugh, the sound his donkey might make if he were a heavier smoker and had just licked the devils ass to chase all taste of goodness from his tongue.  The ragpicker wasn't a scoundrel, but scoundrels envied his laugh."

Rating: ***

Bookstores. They are an issue

I went in to buy one book today, I came out with four. I know I will read them all but can't decide which first!

Ahhh, so many books, the best problem to have

"Spin" - Robert Charles Wilson

Published in 2006 by Tom Doherty Books

Spin is the first of a trilogy of books about the distant future where biotechnology has come to play an incredibly important role.  While earthlings are going about their daily lives, one night the stars go out.  Over time, it is discovered that there is a protective bubble around the planet but outside of it time is speeding by.  Inside the bubble a minute passes, while the rest of the universe ages 100 years.

Unlike the last book I read, I loved the characters in this novel.  They were all thoughtfully constructed so that they were likable but human.  The way Wilson writes intertwines the present (4 x 10⁹ AD) and the past (the childhood and adolescence of the three protagonists) is done beautifully and never feels confusing or broken.

At 450 pages, this book is neither short nor terribly long, but it flew by. I found myself reading it while walking or in the 6 minutes it takes to make vegetables for dinner.  I just couldn't put it down.

Rating: ****

Quotes:
"An absurd position, I know, but if critics insist that he showed us how to live and think and love, then surely he taught us how to run an efficient terror-based revolution and how to commit genocide, too."

"busy hands don't tremble, busy minds don't panic"

"Don't be upset. The world is full of surprises. We're all born strangers to ourselves and each other, and we're seldom formally introduced."

"next" - Michael Crichton

Published in 2006 by Michael Crichton and Harper Collins

I read my first Michael Crichton book in one night while I was dog sitting for Chelsea back in high school. It wasn't really an option to sleep as her puppy Chevy wanted to go in and out every 5 minutes and I was afraid she would have an accident (which still happened) so I stayed up through the night and read.

Sadly, Next was not quite as engrossing as Prey and I felt that his characters were too many and too underdeveloped. It was hard to keep track of who was doing what and what was happening where.

Still, it was a very interesting look at the relationship between the law and genetic material. Especially how we can patent things that aren't really understood and in so doing, mess up real beneficial science that could help people.

Rating: **

"The Art of Racing in the Rain" - Garth Stein

Published in 2008 by Bright White Light LLC

Movies have never been able to make me reach an emotional level where I need to cry for he characters.  But books, books get me bad sometimes.  Especially when they are about animals.  This is a book narrated by a dog who loves Formula One racing and driving in the rain.  He loves Aynton Senna, and He loves Denny (his owner).

This novel is about Enzo, a wonderful dog who helps his family through hard times and good and his final choice to help them by letting him go.  I read it in 2 days (well one day and then night time until 2am) and although it may not have been the best literature written ever, it was a moving story.  Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, Garth Stein took a dog and gave him a human soul.

Quotes:
"Monkeys have thumbs.  Practically the dumbest species on the planet, next to the duck-billed-platypus, who make their dens underwater even though they breathe the air.  The platypus is horribly stupid, but it is only slightly dumber than a monkey.  Yet monkeys have thumbs.  Those monkey-thumbs were meant for dogs.  Give me my thumbs, you fucking monkeys! (I love the Al Pacino remake of Scarface, very much, though it doesn't compare to the Godfather movies, which are excellent.)"

"To live everyday as if it had been stolen from death, that is how I would like to live."

Rating: ***

"Motherless Brooklyn" - Jonathan Lethem

Published in 1999 by Vintage

Where to start, where to start? This novel compels you to read in candlelight with some jazz playing in the background; this book is part film noir, part slick detective, and just one small dash of crazy tourettic outbursts that jar you into the present and get stuck in your head.  Lionel Essrog is a brooklyn orphan and minion of Frank Minna.  Over the years he and the other Minna Men grow from gangly teenagers into half-adults who still view Frank as their light and savior while still trying to shark his position out from under him.  So when Frank is murdered, it falls to Lionel, his most loyal underling to solve the crime.

This all happens with Lionels Tourettes playing second fiddle.  The quiet calm of a Zen Retreat, split in two with his rambling yells.  Sneaking up on a possible suspect, he must make sure to touch all the surfaces in the car 5 times.

Lethem calls to mind other stories that indirectly allow the audience to experience a disability without it taking over the story.  His Lionel is at once charming and annoying, just like any human, and I would have been happy if the story had gone on a while longer.

Quotes:
"(Tourette Dreams)

(in Tourette dreams you shed your tics)

(or your tics shed you)

(and you go with them, astonished to leave yourself behind)"

"Guilt I knew something about.  Vengeance was another story entirely.  I'd have to think about vengeance."

"To both of them and to you I say: Put and egg in your shoe, and beat it.  Make like a tree, and leave.  Tell your story walking."

Rating: ****

"Angela's Ashes" - Frank McCourt

Published in 1996 by Scribner

When I was 11 or 12 I read this book and thought it was the best thing ever, so rereading it and actually still enjoying it was a true treat!  Admittedly, the parts I remember most vividly aren't really huge story points and probably just stuck in my young mind most because they were my first introduction to some grown up themes.

"Angela's Ashes" is the story of Frankie McCourt and his life from age 1-20, growing up first in New York, then in Ireland, and his final journey back to America.  Like many memoirs, there is a drunk father and a sick mother, but it is his writing style that makes it interesting and colorful instead of sad and melodramatic.  I was swept up with his sentences, reading in an accent in my head, and incapable of putting the book down even at 2 am before I had a morning shift.

While at times sad (the gains and losses of his siblings) it is also a funny, compelling and heartwarming (at times) tale of growing up and being forced to take responsibility for himself and his family at a young age.

Still one of my favorites.

Rating: ****

"The Tragedy of Arthur" - Arthur Phillips

The tragedy of Ebooks is that you can't flip through them before committing and buying your $12 file.  Had I been able to do that, I probably wouldn't have gone with this book as half of it is a "Shakespearean tale" and I don't really like reading Shakespeare.

The novels first half centers around the character of Arthur Phillips, a man who has never been able to forgive his con-artist father for being in prison his whole life.  It also incorporates his twin sister and to a minimal extent his family in a foreign country.  But in all honesty, I didn't really care for the book and felt that the emotional connections were too far reaching and less than plausible.  Phillips has a tendency to introduce characters and let them slip away.

boohoo, whatever, I shall read something else. Like this super interesting article describing an event that happened a long while ago that is basically the same idea as the book!

Rating: **

"Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" - Jules Verne

Published in 1870 in France

The tale of Captain Nemo's voyages under the sea in his submersible ship have delighted readers for over a century.  Proffessor Arronox is taken aboard the ship after being tossed from his own alongside his manservant Conseil and a Canadian Harpooner named Ned Land.  The three are captive as Nemo refuses to let them see shores again after being aboard the Nautilus.

I think Jules Verne must have wanted a way to tell people about fish.  Perhaps he was a junior ichthyologist because his descriptions of the flora and animals under the sea prove to be extremely detailed and occasionally extremely boring.  At times the plot of the story seems to disappear entirely for a few pages just so he can describe some more fishes, sharks, algae, phytoplankton, etc.

I understand that this book was a real page turner when it first debuted, unsurprising since submarines had not yet been inverted and yet, Verne was already describing a machine so amazing it could travel the seas without much notice.  And with all the trips the party makes it is still a fun book.  I just wish that Verne had described their jaunts a little more, and the fish a little less.

Quotes:
"I ask no more than to live a hundred years longer, that I may have more time to dwell the longer on your memory"

"there was unusual life and vigour: this was truly living light! In reality, it was an infinite agglomeration of coloured infusoria, of veritable globules of jelly, provided with a threadlike tentacle, and of which as many as twenty-five thousand have been counted in less than two cubic half-inches of water."

"Nature's creative power is far beyond man's instinct for destruction."

"whatever the motive which had forced him to seek Independence under the sea, it had left him still a man, that his heart still beat for the sufferings of humanity, and that his immense Charity was for oppressed races as well as individuals."

Rating: ** (just not for me I guess)

"The Princess Bride: S Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure" - William Goldman

Published in 1973, 1998 by Ballantine Books

What happens when a milkmaid/princess, farm boy, Prince, Count, Spaniard, Giant, Pirate, and Miracle Man collide? The Princess Bride.

This used to be my sick movie go to.  It didn't matter how old I was or what I was sick from, I figured that if the little boy in the movie could handle it while feeling down and out, so could I.  I now own a dvd copy, but I am fairly sure that was one of the most played VHS Tapes in our collection.

I realized recently that no matter how many times I have tried, I haven't read the book.  So it took me by complete surprise this time when I picked it up and made it past the first (somewhat infuriating chapter).  You know William Goldman will get on with the story at some point but first you have to sit through 30 pages of him being a bit of a douche.  He effectively is as bad as "Morgenstern" and I wanted to edit him out.

BUT NOT FOR LONG! Haha! fooled you! The story takes off and from this point onwards his little additions are entertaining and pretty awesome.

It is filled with fighting, fencing, true love, baddies, some goodies, a few of the most beautiful women in the world, some intriguing marriages, royalty, hills and mountains, pirates, escapes, and it is amazing.  I wouldn't risk giving it away, but it is well worth the read.

I especially loved that there was so much more detail about Fezzick and Inigo Montoya, it really made all the times I have watched the movie even better.

Quotes:
Actually I think this is just my favorite passage.

"Then let's look on the bright side: we're having an adventure, Fezzik, and most people live and die without being as lucky as we are."
The moved down one step.  Then another. Then two, then three, as they got the hang of it.
"Why do you think they locked the door behind us?" Fezzik asked as they moved.
"To add spice to our trip, I suspect," replied Inigo.  It was certainly one of his weaker answers, but the best he could come up with.

Rating: ****

"Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" - Jamie Ford

Published in 2009 by Ballantine Books

At first, I wasn't really feeling this book.  But then about a quarter of the way through I got sucked in and couldn't put it down.

The story of a middle aged man in the mid-eighties who has just lost his wife to cancer and is recalling his first love.  Growing up Chinese during the second world war and having a Japanese friend would be hard enough, but young Henry Lee falls in love and everything about his day to day life seems to change.

Follows the internment of the Japanese and the following war years, while simultaneously creating a story in the eighties about how Henry's life turned out and his relationship with his son.

Very sweet, not wonderful or life-changing but a nice read overall

Quotes:
"It was a sigh of resigned disappointment.  A consolation prize, of coming in second and having nothing to show for it.  Of coming up empty; having wasted your time, because in the end, what you do, and who you are, doesn't matter one lousy bit.  Nothing does."

"Henry woke up feeling like a new man, even if he was only twelve"

Rating: **

"A Wolf at the Table" - Augusten Burroughs

Published in 2008 by Island Road, LLC

Whoa, I seem to read books of a theme around the same time so reading this right after Robison was a strange treat! While Burroughs is known for his comedic timing and sometimes uncomfortable short stories, this was completely different than any of his work.

"A Wolf..." is the story of his relationship with his father. A man so dark and twisted he makes Meredith Grey look like the poster child for normal home life. While the book would have been a riveting read no matter what, it was exceptionally eery to read about some of the same experiences in the books of the brothers told from completely different perspectives.

Robison was raised by parents during their happy period and their downward spiral into unhappiness where Burroughs writes of parents who were already in the throes of alcoholism, mental breaks, and cruel games.  As a child, he yearns to be close to his father even though every attempt at personal contact is met with repulsion.  It isn't until his father has terrorized his mother, killed his pets, and alienated him entirely, that a still young Augusten realizes that there is something missing in his father.  A vital piece of humanity that just isn't there.

Rating: ***

"Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Aspergers" - John Elder Robison

Published in 2008 (paperback) by Random House, Inc

The memoir of John Elder Robison proved much more interesting than I had originally anticipated.  I picked up this book as part of one of Barnes & Nobles buy two, get one free promotions and figured it looked like a nice distraction from my usual reading.  His is the story of growing up with undiagnosed asperger's and how he managed to make it through the rough patches thrown his way by society and his family.

John Elder Robison is the brother of well known author Augusten Burroughs, entertainingly, both of them use similar writing devices and seem to prefer a compilation of short stories instead of one long autobiography.  Through Robison's writing it is possible to see inside the workings of the mind of a person who has aspergers, and it is truly a revelation.

The stories he tells help to show his point that however "robotic we Aspergians might seem, we do have deep emotions."  He tells the reader about growing up in a home where his parents were in the process of breaking down both physically and emotionally, his quirky younger brother, trouble with names, working with KISS and other bands, and basically the process of growing up and realizing he didn't fit in even when he tried his hardest.

His writing is at times a little jarring, but for the most part it is beautifully written with both funny and moving stories.  Robison writes that both he and his brother got their storytelling abilities from their mother, and it is all too sad that she had a mental collapse before she could write her own memoirs.

Overall, a great read.  Both insightful and intriguing while maintaining a hint of excitement with every page turn.

Rating:
***

Losing Pace

As much ground I gained in the first three months of the year, April has been a bit of a bust so far on the reading front.  I started John Elder Robisons autobiography of his life growing up with undiagnosed aspergers, but have managed to misplace it somewhere in my chaotic post vacation apartment.

I will press on though, clean the apartment, find the book, keep reading.

"Atonement" - Ian McEwan

Published in 2001 by First Anchor Books

This book weighed heavily on my mind for the days that lead up to actually reading it.  I had seen the movie back in college and remember finding Kiera Knightly pretty but inept at actually conveying any real emotion, and the young girl who played Briony was intolerable and by the end I felt like I had missed the story because the characters were so distracting.

So the fact that I really truly overwhelmingly liked this book says something.  I am still not sure what that something is though.  But I am leaning in the very positive side right now.

Atonement is a novel in four parts; part one focuses on the events of a single night and how the choices a thirteen year old girl (Briony) makes can destroy the lives of others, part two focuses on the war effort in France (where Robbie, the one hurt the most by the young girls words is fighting overseas,) part three showcases the life of Briony as she has aged and can now see what she did in a different light, as well as a light dalliance on what has become of the other characters, and part four in based in London in 1999 when she finds out there isn't long for her to live.

By the end of the movie I was angry and felt that Briony was a waste of space, but the book was very different.  I felt sad for her, and for her inability to truly make amends with anyone.  Without giving away too much, this was an excellent book, definitely one of the best I have read recently.  And the twist is surprising and jolting even when you know it's coming.

Rating: ****

Rereading

Since the Hunger Games movie is coming out on the 23rd of this month, I decided that I should revisit the first book!  I just finished and find myself eager to reread the second and third as well! But I may not, maybe I will continue on my 40 book challenge.

We shall see.

EDIT
I reread all three.  This makes my total 16 so far, but I don't really want to use books I have already read.  Unless I do all 7 Harry Potter's too, then I would have to because I am not discounting 10 books.

Now, on to something completely different!

"What Color is Your Parachute 2012" - Richard N. Bolles

Published in 2012 by Ten Speed Press

This book is touted as "the best-selling job-hunting book in the world, 10 million copies sold, revised and updated Annually." And that is an excellent description of what I expected from it.  A great manual to help me find my way in the crazy job market.  As it is in it's 40th year of republishing, it seemed pretty dang trustworthy.

Like many people my age, I graduated from college under the impression that someone was just going to hand me a job and say "thanks so much for your hard work, your office is in the corner."  But obviously, that's not really how the world works.  So for almost two years I have been updating, changing, sending, faxing, emailing, and color coding my resume.  With little to no luck.

A friend recommended I try this book to give my resume a little more direction, he didn't mention that it is a great way to reevaluate what I am looking for and HOW I am searching for it.  Through exercises, lists and some actual self evaluation I was able to completely revamp my resume and give myself a second wind (who am I kidding, 14th or 15th wind is more accurate.)

Rating: ****

"Murder in the Palais Royale" - Cara Black

Published in 2010 by Soho Press

I decided to start in the middle of the "Aimee Leduc Investigation" series, because honestly, why do anything the right way.  And I am delightfully pleased!  Since I have been planning for my upcoming trip to France this novel seemed like a perfect introduction to the less seen Paris (in this case, murder and some fun cafes.)  While I was at the Bookswap in the city last week I met author Cara Black and we had a fun and insightful chat about what to see and avoid when in Paris for the day, and afterwards I decided that talking to her had been so fun I might as well give her writing a try.

This was a fabulous idea! Black's main character, Aimee Leduc, is a parisian born and bred.  She has inherited her father's, and grandfather's before that, detective agency which she runs with her best friend Rene.  Black does a great job of weaving ideas from previous books in without making the reader feel confused having not read those books.  And she makes sure to add a little incentive in the last few pages to make the next book seem even more appealing.

Quotes:
" 'Dealing with you, as Commissaire Morbier told me, makes herding feral cats look easy,' Melac said"

Rating: ***

"The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency" - Alexander McCall Smith

Published in 1998 by Anchor Books

The story (the first in the series) of Mma Ramotswe and her journey to open up a detective agency in Botswana.  It details a few of her cases, and the relationships she creates with her neighbors and clients.

I found this book extremeley boring.  Given all the glowing reviews I figured it would be a little more interesting than it was.  But I don't even really want to write a review for it.

Rating: *

"The Gravedigger's Daughter" - Joyce Carol Oates

Published in 2007 by Ecco

The story of Rebecca Schwart is sad, funny, terrifying and moving.  Beginning with her birth on a ship in the New York Harbor as her family makes it's way to America from Germany, the lives of the Schwarts family are dark and sad.  Her father, once a math teacher, is reduced to being a cemetery groundskeeper and gravedigger.  Rebecca, the youngest of three children and the only girl, grows up in a dark stone cottage watching her hostile father drive her two brothers away as her mother becomes more and more shut in.  The real story begins when her father kills her mother and himself, and she is able at last to begin anew as her own person and not as "the Schwarts girl" but as a new woman with a family to protect and secrets to keep buried.

This book was given to me by one of my coworkers at Barnes and Noble (a long time ago) and I recently found it in a stack in the corner.  I am so glad that I read it though as it was a surprisingly good novel.  Incredibly well written with passages that had the potential to make me laugh aloud or feel my heartbeat pounding in anxiety.  At times, it veers dangerously close to being a bad drama, but seems to scrape itself in the right direction at the last moment.  A moving story of life, and how we choose to live it.  The main character transforms herself into a woman with secrets and troubles and yet manages to make her way through the world by learning from her mistakes and trying her hardest not to let any of them haunt her.

Quotes:
"In animal life the weak are quickly disposed of.  So you must hide your weakness, Rebecca."

Rating: ****

"The Sweet Life in Paris" - David Lebovitz

Published by Broadway Paperbacks in 2009

Another foodie delight! I seem to have an accidental habit for picking up books written by cooks who happened to start their careers within blocks of my current home.  Lebovitz was a pastry chef at Chez Panisse (a fancy Berkeley restaurant that I still haven't convinced myself to go to given the outlandish prices.)  After his partner died he decided that a change was necessary and moved his life to a small one bedroom flat in Paris.

The book chronicles some of his adventures, with less panache than Reichl in my opinion, but the recipes he throws in for flavor seem to hit a little closer to home.  In fact, while reading this book I made one of the recipes and was surprised at how simple and delicious it was!

Quotes:
"serve with a chilled glass or fillette of white wine, such as Muscadet, Sancerre, or Sauvignon Blanc.  Enjoy, by yourself"
- Regarding his warm goat cheese salad recipe

"you need to clamp my mouth closed and massage my neck to get that hyperthick stuff down my throat -- like forcing a dog to swallow a pill"
- Regarding most parisian Hot Chocolate

Rating:
writing **
recipes ****

"Johannes Cabal: The Necromancer" - Jonathan L. Howard

Published by Anchor Books in 2010

I picked this book up on a whim as it had some great cover art, thinking that would be as far as the fun would go was my mistake! This turned out to be an unexpectedly good find that blended sci-fi with a little Gothic humor in just the right combination.

The cover quote states that it is "wicked and inventive" and I agree completely.  A carnival comprised of the undead, lead by a necromancer and his vampire brother.  Their goal is to retrieve 100 souls in a years time as a wager with Satan.

The best part is that it isn't until the last page that we learn the true reason for the whole quest and Johannes Cabal's real goal.  Very fun, I will have to read more of the series!

Rating: ***

"Granta 117 - Horror"

Published in 2011 by Granta Magazine

"Horror is everywhere" and this collection of short stories shows that it isn't always something that goes bump in the night.  Authors ranging from Stephen King to Will Self give us sneak peeks into the many forms that Horror can take in our lives.

While some were not quite my style, a majority of the stories were exciting and engaging, urging me to just read "one more page."

Rating: ***

"Smoke and Mirrors" - Neil Gaiman

Published in 1998 by Avon Books Inc.

A series of short stories (unrelated to one another) all by author Neil Gaiman.  Some of them are entertaining others are confusing and strangely written.  After having read "Stardust" I was prepared for his style of writing but was hoping that in short story form it would be more appealing.  Sadly, I was mistaken as there is no single point in this collection that stood out as particularly amazing.

His writing lacks details, and I personally find it less than exciting.

Rating: **

"A Confederacy of Dunces" - John Kennedy Toole

Published by LSU Press in 1980

The main character of this strange and intriguing novel is Ignatius J. Reilly, a corpulent 30-something who still lives with his mother.  An extremely educated man, Reilly never put his learnings to use and after an unfortunate car accident he is forced to find a job.  His menial work combined with his ridiculous concepts of how time should be spent to be prosperous in society mingle to make a tale that is a comedic jaunt around New Orleans behind a Hot Dog cart.

I really enjoyed this novel.  The writing was sharp and funny, and Toole wrote wonderful dialogue that makes the characters come to life on the pages.

Rating: ****

"Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" - Jonathan Safran Foer

Published in 2005 by Mariner Books

Oskar is sure that the key he found in a vase is a final message from his father, who died in the September 11, 2001 attack on the Twin Towers.  He pledges to find it's meaning and embarks on a journey through Manhattan with his upstairs neighbor Mr. Black.  The story includes writing from the perspective of Oskar, his grandmother (through letters to Oskar) and his grandfather (through letters written to the Son he would never meet.)

I personally enjoyed the story but was not blown away by the writing.  Sadly, this was also my experience with Foer’s novel “Everything is Illuminated” as well.  Maybe I just don’t like his style, maybe its something else, I don’t know.  In this case, I found the characters to be lacking in life.  As if no matter how hard I tried, they just didn’t seem real or likeable.

Quotes:

“But there was always work to be done. We spent our lives making livings.”

“…Our lives are like skyscrapers.  The smoke rises at different speeds, but they’re all on fire, and we’re all trapped.”

Rating: ***

My Favorite Books From the Past 2 Years

Ok, so, here are some books.  They aren't really in any order, mildly alphabetic, but in my opinion you should read them at random otherwise you might get too much travel writing or too much medical writing all at once!  I read 36 books last year and over 20 the year before that and these are the winners so far. Unless otherwise noted they are kindle available.

Medical/ Exotic location:

Cutting for Stone - Verghese

kindle: 9.99

Story about a set of twins who grow up in Ethiopia who are left for dead by their father after their mother dies in childbirth.  A surrogate family of nuns and doctors raises them and as they grow a rift forms that can only be crossed when they are older.  Phenomenal book, written by an Ethiopian born doctor, it's got some medical stuff and some travel stuff and I think you would really enjoy it.  Also, lots of gynecology, in a cool way, not a creepy way. 5 stars

Medical/ tale of growing up:

The Cider House Rules - Irving

Another Irving book I truly enjoyed (read The World According to Garp pretty recently), The story of Homer Wells, another orphan, and his lifelong journey to find his place in the world through travel, work, obstetric practice and a rag-tag family comprised of a doctor, war vet, nurses, school bully, and more.  I do have some questions regarding Irving's obsession with strange relationships. Not available on Kindle, made into a movie with Elijah Wood (I think). 5 stars

Funny:

Bossypants - Tina Fey

kindle: 12.99

Hilarious, laugh-a-minute rollercoaster of fun.  Just read it on a day you feel a little glum and it will pull you right back to good spirits. 5 stars

Teen Fiction/Future Possibilities:

The Hunger Games - Collins

Book one is my favorite, Kris liked 3, and my friend Katie prefers 2.  Read these when you have a day or three to devote to being lost in books.  Even Kris read them straight through in 4 days.  Hard to stop once you have started and the movie comes out in March so you should get to it before then. 5 stars

World problems/Globalization/Mental Recovery after trauma:

Little Bee - Cleave

kindle: 11.99

This book will leave you breathless.  It is heart-wrenching and amazing.  Just read it, I cried, and I don't cry. He has another book out but I don't want to read it because it doesn't look like it will even compare to this one. 5 stars.

Historical Fiction

The Paris Wife - McLain

kindle: 12.99

Kind of romance novel-esque at the beginning . . . “This was my one brush with love. Was it love? It felt awful enough. I spent another two years crawling around in the skin of it, smoking too much and growing too thin and having stray thoughts of jumping from my balcony like a tortured heroine in a Russian novel.” All that blah-dee-blah.  But it get's better and then is a fun jaunt through history with Hemingway, his wife, his mistress, his son, etc.  3.5 stars

Travel

The Sun Also Rises - Hemingway

kindle: 11.99

I read this right after The Paris Wife and watched Midnight in Paris soon after that, a very good trifecta.  I recommend doing all three within a month or so of each other as they then give a full look (Hemingway's perspective, his wife's, and an outsider looking at them at the time in Paris.) A good idea to do before you leave though as I really recommend the movie AFTER both books. 4 stars on it's own and with the other two.

Technology/Future possibilities

Super Sad True Love Story - Shteyngart

kindle: 9.99

At first when I finished I wasn't a huge fan, but over the period of about a month I could not stop thinking about some parts of this book.  It is a completely plausible idea of our future where social networking takes over and the idea of leisure, books, grammar, etc. have gone out the window.  Everyone is vulgar and somewhat distressing but once you get used to the writing style it is a good read. 3 stars at first, 4.5 after it wouldn't get out of my head.

Food/Travel

Tender at the Bone - Reichl

kindle: 11.99

One of my favorites in the last two years, I gobbled it up like I would some of the recipes she includes!  You will be jealous of her life and of her cooking skills. 5 stars.

BONUS BOOK!

A Dirty Job - Moore

kindle: 9.99

I read this a long time ago (High School) and it is still one of my favorites, a funny novel with magical aspects as well as a fun tour of San Francisco!